


bluebloods

by 1eyedwombat



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain Marvel (2019) Spoilers, Drabble, F/F, Introspection, body autonomy issues, hey FUCK yon rogg, slight - Freeform, tw: issues with body-ownership, will probably edit later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 13:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18335024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1eyedwombat/pseuds/1eyedwombat
Summary: "It's my blood running through her veins"Carol’s veins are too blue.It’s almost unnoticeable in the dark, but when she stands in the sun they look tattooed on, intricate patterns carving their way to her heart. They spill poison into her body like oil, rich with the blood of a murderer, a man with cold eyes and a lie behind his words.(A look into Carol's perspective on her body, her family, and her guilt. )





	bluebloods

**Author's Note:**

> Because isn't it fucked that the Kree took away Carol's blood? Also how is she not dead.

Carol’s veins are too blue. 

 

It’s almost unnoticeable in the dark, but when she stands in the sun they look tattooed on, intricate patterns carving their way to her heart. They spill poison into her body like oil, rich with the blood of a murderer, a man with cold eyes and a lie behind his words. Sometimes she lies awake wondering how far his venom has spread, how long it will take for her lips to turn blue and her heart to ice over. She wonders what, exactly, he has taken from her, not just five years and her once-clean hands.

 

And five years is a long, long time. Long enough that sometimes, when she jolts awake from frantic dreams, her skin too small and her hands still clenched, Carol almost gets up to look for Yon-Rogg and challenge him to a fight. She craves the serenity of violence, the fists and elbows and knees chasing away everything else until the only thing that matters is the white hot burn in her chest and her opponent. Carol always catches herself before she can leave the bed and spends the next day coiled tight and ashamed. 

 

The Skrull smile at her now, but she sees it in their eyes. She sees the silent faces of countless innocents (they’re not countless, she knows, she knows exactly how many from mission logs and-) in every child who shies away, every adult who can’t ever seem to look away from her veins, from her  _ blood. _

 

It’s not her blood, it’s his, but it still rushes hot through her when Maria brushes her hand low on Carol’s back. She has forgotten so much, but how could she have ever forgotten _th_ _is_ , the brand of Maria’s touch and the way her body sings to hold her. Her memories are in pieces but Maria is built into her bones, Maria is the marrow that is slowly replacing the poison in her veins with fire and love and red. 

 

The shattered bits of who she was before and who she was after and who she is now come together one night, when Monica is asleep and Maria pulls her close and kisses her desperately, frantically, like she wants to sink into Carol’s skin. And oh, Carol would let her if she could. But for now she remembers how to fit herself against the curve of Maria’s neck and breathe in, remembers where to touch and kiss and bite until the sun comes to paint Carol’s crimes underneath her skin. 

 

Monica lights up whenever she sees Carol, and her heart breaks at this child who loves her even now, even after so long. And damn it all if Carol doesn’t love her too, because she was there when Monica was born and when she lost her first tooth and on Christmas and the first six birthdays. But what did that matter, because then Carol went and missed the next five. And now Monica is a young lady with passions and talents that Carol never saw develop because she was on the other side of the galaxy murdering innocents and calling it justice. 

 

Carol has to leave eventually. She has a debt that will never be repaid and a rage that will never be calmed and blood that will never be truly red again. She leaves because she can’t always connect who she loved Before with what she did After and who she is Now. Because she doesn’t know whether she is Terran or Kree anymore, and because Maria wants to sink into her skin but Carol isn’t sure what lies beneath. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I've only seen the movie once so if you notice any errors let me know!


End file.
